Chronicles Of Corper Henry: ASABA Girls Don’t Need Your Money For The Cookey

Before I came to
Asaba, I have always been the guy who had entered every single relationship
with a pack of Panadol extra because of the kind of headaches I was forced to
put up with.

Back in Maiduguri during my university days, I fell head over
heels in love with one dark Adamawa girl who I was ready to live and die for. I
will trek the length and breadth of the school, under the scorching sun just to
see her. Unfortunately, she sensed my undying love for her and ended up
breaking my heart during the examination period. Up till today, I am yet to
forgive her.

My love experience in
Kano remains the worst till date that I came to a conclusion that I will have
nothing to do with Sabon Gari girls anymore. The only language they seem to
understand is money and ‘cat fish’. I remember how one Akwa Ibom girl looked at
me from head to toe and told me to my very face that ‘who your love epp? Give
me money joor’. Even after buying her wristwatch, she refused to have my time.
But the romance atmosphere down here in Asaba is quite different. Finding true
love in Asaba seems to be less complicated. The girls here are so loving that
you might mistake them for Americans. They won’t put you through the rigorous
tasks of toasting and chasing and buying ‘eshi-ewu’ and recharge cards for
three weeks straight before they take you in. An average Asaba girl, will take
you on a journey into her innermost secrets and give herself to you, body and
soul without looking back. They don’t even want your money. They are contented
with sharing your space, time and attention and with this kind of affections,
you can’t help but purr from warm sweetness.
 Service year afforded me an
opportunity to explore some of the many hidden treasures that God deposited in
Asaba. And on three occasions, I have been pampered and spoiled with the kind
of love that the sun has for mother earth. The kind of love that lights up the
whole world!
And of all my
adventures in the feminine world, I will never forget my romantic experience
with Debby who I met inside a keke. Armed with a rose tattoo that spread down
her left arm, a nose ring, four ear rings that ran across her ear, a leg chain
and an enigmatic Briton accent, I was helplessly under her spell. It didn’t
take long before we connected like electric cables and she illuminated my
world. She would call me ‘Chinedu’ with a tone that nobody else has ever called
me with. She would read my love poems and melt and with the way she smiled at
me, I knew she meant it. She was the first girl to prepare banga soup and bring
to my room and after I tasted it, sweet Jesus! I wanted to see her parents.
There are a good
number of them who have gone out of their way to show me true love and in all
sincerity, I have always had my mind blown away. Asaba girls are content to
hold your hand and walk in the evenings, sharing your time, space and silence.
Sure, just like every other girl, they treasured their recharge cards, perfumes
and night ‘suya’, but since they have you, all the material things of the world
seemed so immaterial. Few weeks ago, I met a girl in Asaba during my evening
stroll who looked me in the eyes for five minutes, touched my elbow
occasionally and finally told me that I made her feel very special again. Back
in kano, they only time girls felt so special in my presence was when my wallet
started to show itself frequently.

And that is why I
decided to write this so that every guy out there will read and have a rethink
about his purpose in love life. Asaba is the place to be for all the broken
hearted out there who seek emotional healing and reassurance. These girls down
here are super romantic. For all the guys tired of buying recharge cards and
making hair, come down to Asaba and be treated like a king. You only have one
life to live, don’t waste it in Kano, Port Harcourt and Lagos.
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